when i said it, i didn't think i really meant it. i was just being overdramatic. but now i know that i did mean it. i really did.

i was searching in the desk for a stapler. i couldn't find it. but what i found was better. a gun. and it feels like fate. i once wrote 'i thought that if my family owned a gun, i would be dead.' but i'm still breathing. i'm still here. but it's fate, it's fate. you must see that. it was meant to be.

i have a bulletless gun. and it is the only glimmer of hope i've ever had. so what do i do now?

sarah mclachlan: i will remember you
feeling dead