as i smoke today's last cigarette, i'm left wondering. if i could just change certain aspects of my personality, then maybe they wouldn't think so poorly of me. my every move would not be judged.

i see the face you make every time i light a cigarette. i hear the disaproving tone in your voice when you mention the past. and it's not fair. it's just not fair. you hold everything against me. when nasty guys hit on me & try to look down my shirt, it's somehow my fault. i did something to provoke it. it's always my fault.

i can't live like this. friends who aren't really friends. every path leading towards a dead end. days that don't matter. i need to get away from here. i need to start over...

cyndi lauper: girls just wanna have fun
feeling hopeless