this space starts out empty, and i know it can't hurt more than it already does, and it all falls down around me and hits me in the face and falls on to the ground. i wish that i could understand, why i'm so upset to see these things i'll never have --penfold

tonight is a night for crying. everything hurts. so much is wrong. everything i have is fading away. i've worked so hard and gotten nowhere.

i'm fucking broke. i have five dollars and thirty-eight cents to my name. crink left for california. all of my friendships are falling apart. i can't eat. and when i do, i just stick a finger down my throat afterwards. i barely sleep. i'm failing out of school. again. i've become a selfish bitch (even he told me so).

i'm a fucking wreck. i deserve these tears.

penfold: june
feeling devastated