my nineteenth birthday is in ten days. and it almost makes me sad. eighteen has been the best year of my life. and i'm afraid that nineteen won't be a repeat.

i know next year will be good. i'll spend eight months of it at school. and i know i'll be happy there. this upcoming summer, i'm trying to get an internship at a book publishing/editing company. but how can this past year ever be topped?

eighteen was when i recovered. when i left the past behind me. when i made the greatest friends i'll probably ever have. when we finally got close after all these years. when i worked my ass off at the community college. and because of that, was accepted into two universities. it was the year i said goodbye to my home and started my life. eighteen was when i finally got to start over.

eighteen was a year of drugs and drinking. weed. coke. ecstasy. adderall. pain killers. and ya know what? i loved every minute of it. and i don't regret a thing.

this was a year of no regrets. and that's all i ever wanted. please let this next year be the same.

koufax - out of your element
feeling awake