it's nights like tonight that make me love being here. that make me never want to leave.

i went to my classes. janine and i walked down to high street and went shopping. we came back and we baked jamaal an extremely ghetto looking birthday cake (he turned twenty-one). me, janine, jamaal, brittnay, paul, trey & jose got plastered and just hung out. i sat outside and i smoked cigarettes with dana and derek and will. we laughed and we talked and i finally started to feel okay about being here.

but then there are nights like last night. when i was so scared, and i just wanted to go home.

it was two am and i was sitting outside smoking with trey. some random creepy guy sat down and started talking to me. trey got up and went inside. this...horrible man starting saying disgusting things to me. and he was trying to touch me. i got up and tried to go inside. he grabbed my arm and said something about knowing where to find me. i ran inside. i was so scared. i went up to trey's room. i screamed at him. never fucking leave me out there alone ever again. i couldn't fall asleep.

so what should i think? does the good outweigh the bad? can i handle stuff like this happening...i'm not sure. as of right now, the good is outweighing the bad. but who really knows how long that will last. things could change in a heartbeat.

brave saint saturn: resistor
feeling drunk