i am a fucking mess.

my mother is coming to west virginia this weekend. so we can "talk". can't we just talk on the phone? maybe she thinks it's more serious this time. and maybe it is.

i want to tell her how i'm an emotional wasteland. i want to tell her i have a drug problem and that i've spent the last year letting him degrade me. how it's over now...and it's because i did so much coke, and i couldn't stop screaming.

i won't tell her. she could never forgive my vices. there's no reason that she should.