chase what makes your heart flutter.

i'm going home this weekend. back to my yellow room with my life attached to the walls. and to my family who would hate me if they knew. back to the boy who broke my heart & back to my best friend. it's always a whirlwind of emotions. i can't help but panic. two long months. has anything changed? i dred laying in your bed. i used to want you. all the time. and i had you. but now the thought of you touching me makes me ill. my feelings have changed. there's nothing i can do about that...

i don't know if i can do this.